Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Spring Training Outlook...

In one of the most anticipated years in team history (brand new stadium doesn't hurt)...let's review some the stories down in Fort Myers, and look into this upcoming baseball season...

* The return of Jacque Jones...the Pohlads' are known for the charity work, and I'm under the firm belief that's the case here. Jacque Jones attended the winter meetings to show his face (who was out of baseball completely last year) to prove that he was still alive. Twins' signed him to minor league contract...and I believe they are just doing him a favor to see if he can catch the eye of another team while getting some playing time with us during Spring Training. He's an outfielder that can't throw and has diminished range...and do we really need another left handed bat?

* Will Joe Mauer sign a long term deal before the season starts?...If this doesn't get done, the Twins should be contracted out of the league. Kevin Garnett, Ricky Rubio, Kirby Puckett, Brett Favre, Adrian Peterson, Randy Moss, Justin Morneau, Marian Gaborik, etc doesn't even compare to Joe Mauer. He is easily the most marketable/likeable asset to have on your team/organization...for business and performance.

* Southpaw headcases...Is there some mental disability that comes with being a left-handed pitchers? Brian Duensing seems to be the only normal one, but we are only baby steps into his career...who knows with him down the line...?? Francisco Liriano apparently is back on track, but just showing a pulse this year will be a drastic improvement over last years debacle. Jose Mijares is fat, happy and arrived into camp late. Be sure not to start any brawls this year by throwing at batters when we're in pennant race. Glen Perkins thinks the organization is out to get him...you want service time at the Major League level while your sitting on a bench spitting sunflower seeds because you're "hurt"...or were your feelings just hurt when you got rocked in your last start. You're officially not "one of us" Minnesotans' anymore.

* How will the new stadium play...?? Do the Twins have some insight? Apparently, they've loaded up on left-handed bats in the lineup and bench. After trading Carlos Gomez for J.J. Hardy...they didn't shore up the outfield defense at all...does the lack of ground to cover allow us to escape with our average outfield defense? How will our pitchers' that pitch to contact fare in a new stadium that has minimal foul ground territory? Will Scott Baker make it past the 2nd inning due to foul balls driving his pitch count through the roof?

SBG

Monday, February 15, 2010

I LOVE ME SOME ME...

Terrell Owens coined the phrase "I love me some me"...but several thousands of amateur/professional athletes live by this motto (even though they won't express this publicly). Here are some of Minnesota's best selfish acts throughout the years:

Kris Humphries - 0.7 assists per game during his only season as a Golden Gopher. Big men in general are not supposed to have high assist totals, but he was doubled (sometimes tripled) team when catching the ball on the low block the majority of the time (if not every time). He preferred his points over the team's general success. The next year...without Kris Humphries...Gophers make it to the NCAA tourney with virtually the same roster (add Vincent Grier in place of him).

Jack Morris - I might be crossing the line when ripping our own legend, Black Jack...but, he came "home" for one year...had an emotional press conference introducing himself as one of the new additions to the ballclub. The Twins win the World Series in his home state behind his brilliant performance in Game 7...then auctions himself off to highest bidder (Toronto). I'm not saying he should of stayed...but, don't give us some spiel about how special it is to play where you grew up...only to leave us the very next year because your stock went through the roof.

Isiah Rider - Anyone that proclaims in their first interview with their new team that their goal is to win the slam dunk contest...loves me some me. This is a team sport that actually plays 82 games that matter...well, that's probably not the case if you play for the Timberwolves.

Dwayne Rudd - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwayne_Rudd ...this link sums up Dwayne's career...the biggest article on his page is under "premature celebration"...priceless. If he would've transferred the time and energy involved in his celebratory dances over to his "game"...he...well...I can't guarantee you anything, other than he wouldn't be on my blog right now.

Clint Brewster - There's always something hilarious when the coaches' son (a red shirt freshman quarterback buried on the depth chart) talks smack to the opposing teams' kicker. As if the 1-11 record wasn't bad enough for your dad to have to endure during his first year as head coach...he has to answer to your actions, because you can't even speak to the media (team rule) since you haven't played an official college football down. Ladies and gentlemen...Gopher Nation.

Bert Blyleven - You deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. However, people don't need to hear you on various media outlets (local and national) stating your own case on why you should be in...that's lame. Speaking of lame..."Circle me Bert" signs need to be put to bed. I know it gets you off to see your name on all these signs, but we have a brand new stadium...we don't need to manufacture entertainment...the game itself will do just fine in the new ballpark. Thank you.

SBG

Friday, February 12, 2010

Nick Punto Day 2/12/2010...

Yes, Minnesotans are messed up in the head...if the winter season of sports in Minnesota hasn't already brought us enough grief, frustration and disappointment for this part of the year...we decided to top it off while we dedicate a day to the biggest scapegoat in Minnesota Twins history...Nick Punto.

Here are some of my memories, rants and fun facts about Nicky:

* Nick Punto was born in San Diego...but, played for Team Italy in the World Baseball Classic. Is this like a resume builder when he becomes a free agent?

* Let's recap the trade between the Twins and Phillies: Eric Milton's career is dead. Carlos Silva's career is on life support. Nick Punto is still playing...er, participating in team activities with the Twins.

* Scariest thought about the future...Nick Punto as a baserunning coach! "Even though you may get hurt...and it actually also makes you slower than actually running through the bag...I'm going to demonstrate how you successfully slide head first into first base."

* I don't need numbers to tell me how crappy Nick Punto is at the plate. I have no faith in Nick at the plate. You hope he can maybe coax a walk, but you never expect an actual clean base hit...you know, where there isn't controversary over why the official scoring judge ruled it a base hit instead of an error.

* I think the funniest Nick Punto memory was at the Metrodome last year (2009). He was on third base (as a baserunner) trying to crack a joke to Red Sox third basemen Kevin Youkilis. Kevin just turned to him said something simple like, "shut the hell up you puny ass sorry excuse for a baseball player, I can't believe you got all the way to third base...let alone you standing here and trying to conversate with me as if we were boys..." Punto's face turned red, along with him turning his attention elsewhere to avoid the confrontation.

* How sad is it that you are the automatic scapegoat on a team filled with the likes of Matt Tolbert, Delmon Young, Carlos Gomez, Brendan Harris, Jesse Crain, Glen Perkins, Francisco Liriano, Scott Baker, etc.

SBG

Friday, February 5, 2010

Random Venting (Gopher related)...

It's the time of year to lash out...collegiate style...

* Sean (father) and Seantrel (son) Henderson: Way to go on milking all five of your official visits, plus a trip out to New York to "unveil" your college choice. I'm all for going over your options...but going clubbing down in Miami with current NFL football players who probably didn't even graduate from college should not be considered an "official" visit. Plus, Seantrel hasn't even officially qualified academically to even go to any of these schools...yet, he's got more than enough time on his hands to visit all these places. And Sean...you are pathetic...living vicariously through your son must get you a hard on. You showed some class by telling the press that Ohio State's Jim Tressell is boring...he apologizes for not taking you and your son to a local club.

* Tim Brewster: How are you still our coach? You can't keep any coordinators around for any length of time. With the coordinator shuffling game, you change your philosophy every year. The quarterback Adam Weber has been in 4 different systems in five years. You got a brand new spanking stadium that is having trouble filling up due to lackluster perfomances. You haven't recruited well...you lost out on the top rated Minnesota player in the last three years. You haven't won a rivalry game (Iowa or Wisconsin). You haven't won a trophy game. Plus, your players run amok off the field and run up quite the police blotter...and you have no consequences for them. I want Glen Mason back.

* Devoe Joseph: You are not a point guard. However, your brother is...so I will bite my tongue as I watch you force unwarranted shots and turn the ball over to the other team so they can get easy transition baskets...just so I can see your brother in Gophers jersey next year.

* Royce White: You're an idiot. You really think you can play the "victim" in this whole episode that YOU CREATED! You don't feel safe on campus...neither does the student population when you're lurking around. And your mentor is...drumroll...Troy Hudson...the most selfish player on the court when he played, then he tried to parlay his modest basketball career into a music career...this pretty much sums your life up.

* Tubby Smith: Please learn a zone offense and teach it to the kids. It would be nice to defeat the teams we are supposed to beat. Also, cut your ties with Royce White...I know he's young...but, if you haven't influenced him up this point than he's just a lost cause.

SBG