The Wonderful World of Youth Sports...

I coach basketball in the winter. I'm not exactly a volunteer, considering they technically pay me...but there is no amount of money that pays enough to deal with delusional parents in youth sports...especially, when you have to deal with parents, like the one below. This is a real email exchange between a parent (Katie) and myself (Coach Casey). I got to give kudos to my wife who brilliantly wrote the last response...I was en route to our familiar "friendship game" for the weekend when the response came back from the parent. I was just going to let the parent have the last word, until I read what my wife wrote. It was too good not to send it off.

Hi Casey,

I realize I caught you off-guard after the game last night. I apologize for that, but I wanted to explain my frustration.

When I sent you that email in the beginning of December, I was hoping it would be received as constructive and come at a time when it could help you build some momentum with this team. I realize you have your frustrations, but I'm really trying to understand why, after having had a terrible experience the previous year, you didn't start fresh with this team and see what you could do to adjust and work with the girls. From what I have seen from these girls, they are coming to practice, trying hard, and despite a really lousy record, sticking in there.

I just think that this substituting 5 in at a time and plays we're playing are killing us. When our girls call 'Edina' I can see the opposing team know exactly what to do to break it. Hannah was frustrated last night because she didn't understand why you'd call play 13 (a play not practiced) over 14 (what you had practiced). Why not be a little strategic and get ahead when we can? Last night was the perfect example--call a timeout when we're nearly even and put in your strongest players. This isn't about my daughter -- if she's not playing well, I wouldn't expect her to be in. The whole team would gain some confidence despite who was on the court.

I know it's late in the season and don't expect things to change, but I wanted to explain my frustration and reasons for my comment last night. I will keep quiet and remain constructive.

Thanks for listening,
Katie

Katie,

Just to clear some things up...13 is an offensive set against a zone, we only run it if the team is playing a 2-3 zone on defense (that Jefferson team was mixing their defenses up, just like what we do). I never call for that play unless I see that they are running a zone on defense. Otherwise, if they are running a person to person defense, we will run Edina or 14.

Half the battle of having any success at any level is to be lined up properly for whatever we are running (offense or defense). Running fives at a time helps us prepare the girls as to where they need to be and what we are going to do on the offensive and/or defensive side of the ball. They are accountable to be at certain spots, depending on what we are doing.

We are mixing and matching the fives every game, depending on how they played the previous game.I know you and several parents are passionate about winning. Well, I'm passionate about coaching and developing ten girls into better basketball players. I called my last timeout at the end of the Jefferson game (prior to our encounter) just to tell them how proud I was in their play during that game. I saw a back door pass for a hoop. I saw a give and go for a hoop. We had defensive intensity on a regular basis.

Just to give you a heads up, John and I have attempted putting our best five on the floor to start the game and then go from there. However, one game we got off to a horrible start and we were down 8-0. What do you do then? You put all your eggs in the basket and you get nothing out of it. The best five isn't actually the best five players. You need role players amongst those five, that help compliment the better players. You need girls' that do the little things: making that extra pass, boxing out, rebounding etc. Let me know if you have any questions...

Thanks,
Casey

Hi Casey,

I just don't see the passion you claim to have about developing the girls. I think your communication style doesn't suit you well for coaching and I implore you to take a look in the mirror and try to understand what you could have done better last year and this year. That would be leadership.

Katie

Katie,

I don't think that you know me well enough to question my passion for coaching, I've been doing it for several years (six in the Edina program) and I work hard to teach and develop all the girls that I have. There is a strategy behind the things that I do and I'm sorry that you don't see that, however I am here to work with the players and would get no where if I aimed to keep all of the parents happy. I would also ask that you focus only on this year, I didn't coach your daughter last year and I don't feel that season has anything to do with our current team. To me, leadership isn't defined by the number of wins at the end of the season, it's defined by working hard to get everyone to play to the best of their ability.

Side note: the girls ended up winning today, but I thought they put forth a better effort in both games (against better competition) yesterday than they did today.

Thanks again,
Casey

SBG